Welcome to the ShTexaslawyer.com Blog

For most of us the power of positive thinking is a load of crap. That's right, I said it. Positive thinking is a load of crap! Wishing things were better won't make them better. Thinking life is great when it sucks won't make it magically be a utopia. The people who spout off about positive thinking are so sold on the idea they can't put the reality of what positive thinking is in terms that apply to the rest of us. The true power of thought isn't in positive thinking. The real power of thought is the power of negative thinking.

Negative thoughts stop progress and invention. Negative thoughts kill dreams. Negative thoughts destroy relationships. Negative thoughts consume people. If you get caught in a spiral of negative thoughts you are drained of energy. A negative person loses hope. A person consumed by negativity is a victim. Negative thoughts are more powerful than positive thoughts. The only way to combat negative thoughts though is reality based logical thinking and positive thoughts.

The ability of positive thoughts to replace negative thoughts is the highest value of positive thinking. No, a positive attitude does not guarantee success or enjoyment in life. But, negative thinking is a very sure way to prevent success and destroy joy.

So, even though positive thinking isn't power, it is the best tool you have to clear your life of negative thoughts. A life clear of negative thoughts is a life freed from baseless doubts and soul sucking despair. If you find yourself consumed by dark thoughts, I feel your pain. It is very hard to overcome the condemning voices in your head that see everything in your life as worthless or wrong. Self help books by the thousands teach that there is power in positive thinking. You may have considered them, but turned away seeing it as mere Pollyanna wishful thinking. It isn't that. It is your lifeline out of the hell you live in your head.

When the voices in your head tell you that you are a failure, a loser or an idiot, you have to stop the thoughts and counter them with something else. Otherwise you will feed the negative thoughts and act out of the belief they are right. When the negative thoughts come onto you, you have to immediately stop thinking them. Replace them with logic that challenges the thoughts, and say to yourself the words you would say to a child who was thinking black thoughts. You are a good person, people do love you, you have done and will do good things.

It won't be easy, it won't happen overnight, but if you make a habit of countering bad thoughts with good thoughts, of finding compliments for yourself, of seeking to give love rather than stew in hate, you will change the way you think. When you have countered the thoughts enough they will no longer control you.

If you read this and think you can't do it, stop right there! That is the negative voice trying to keep you down. Remember that there is only one place we truly control. That place is inside our head. We think the thoughts, we chose what to think. Saying you cannot work on what you think is telling yourself that something or someone else controls you. You may be hearing the voices of violent or abusive parents. you might be repeating negative statements made to you by others long ago. Look around, who says those things of you, other than yourself? Likely nobody! You are beating yourself up. You are your own worst enemy and victim all in one. DO NOT BE A VICTIM!

Admit to yourself you have control of your own thoughts, and that you chose what to think and what to believe. It's okay to be critical if it is constructive criticism. It is not okay to attack yourself and destroy your own life from the inside. If you have trouble countering your bad thoughts, then seek a counselor to help you. I promise you, it is not as bad as you make it out to be in your own head.

I have been in that place. A place where everything is shite. A place where you are hated. A place of the darkest despair. I hated my life. It seemed pointless to fight my inevitable, gloomy Armageddon. I can't remember if it was a counselor, if it was a self help book, prayer or what, but at some point I realized I was telling myself things nobody else was saying. I was convincing myself of realities that existed only in my head. By logically analyzing my life and stopping the cycle of negative thinking I could clear my eyes long enough to make steps out of the darkness. It was a long journey, and occasionally I find myself peering into the abyss of despair. Now I know to pull back. Don't stare into the pit and fall in. Back away from the pit, reassess your life and yourself. Dust yourself off, give yoursel a pat on the back and move away from the pit.

Try it...
What have you got to lose?

TheWiktionary defines a chump as a gullible person; a sucker; someone easily taken advantage of; the target of a scam. Chumps don’t always realize they are chumps. They may think they are being polite, or that they are pleasing others, but when a person lets themselves be hurt (especially over a prolonged period) they are being a chump. Unfortunately many spouses are chumps. It starts as an effort to keep the peace in a relationship, and it grows to a point where one spouse has anything and everything they want, while the other is “long suffering.” Sure, there is a value in being forgiving, in being patient, in being selfless, but there comes a point where the chump can’t take it anymore.

If the couple is lucky, that point comes while things can still be salvaged. Many times it comes at a point where the dominant spouse has already lost all respect for the chump, and the chump is ready to fight. In that circumstance, the chump starts defining boundaries, demanding better treatment, and standing up for themselves, while the former dominant spouse doesn’t have an interest in change. Change means giving up the cushy life the dominate spouse enjoyed. It means being respectful of the needs o the former chump when the once dominant spouse no longer feels any respect for the chump. Whenever the chump is ready to fight back, the couple should involve a counselor if they want to be productive.

Most divorces that I see are from former chumps who decided they wouldn’t take it anymore. Some have tried to fix the relationship; some have simply decided that it wasn’t worth saving. I may do divorce work, but I don’t find pleasure in divorces. Divorces are sad for everyone involved. Divorces are a funeral for dreams (no matter how long ago those dreams may have died).

If you think you are a chump, get professional counseling help before you fight back. It is possible to reassert yourself and still save a marriage. If the once dominant spouse refuses to attend counseling, you should still consider going. It is better to have the opinion of a relationship expert than it is to do it all alone. If you decide that there is nothing to salvage then hire a lawyer to assist with the divorce.

Most chumps don’t want a divorce. It was the desire to preserve the marriage that got them into the position they are in. Most chumps will start to fight back numerous times and fall back into their chump behavior because of their desire to preserve the relationship. One day though, almost all chumps decide they have had enough.

Don’t think that the dominant spouse will ever come to their senses on their own. It is against character for a spouse that is willing to take those kinds of advantages to change. They will only change if there is professional help or if they still value the relationship.

Whatever you do as a chump, don’t become passive aggressive in the relationship. That kind of behavior is never helpful. Passive aggressive behavior is lightly explained herehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Passive-aggressive_behavior. I would never claim to be a psychologist, and recommend you seek professional assistance to understand passive aggressive behavior.

If you think you’re a relationship chump, get help. It’s not a pleasant realization, and you have a lot of work ahead of you if you want to fix it. If it’s not fixable… then call a divorce lawyer.