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A recent search query that brought someone to my blog was, “why do lawyers make me crazy?” It amused me, but it also brought up a good question as to why there are such strained relations between lawyers, clients and the people they oppose.

The most obvious reason lawyers make people crazy is that they, and the whole legal process, are expensive. Court costs for litigation can be as little as some $3,000.00, or over $10,000.00 for many simple civil actions. Uncontested divorces have only filing fees and possible process fees. Contested divorces can get really expensive. I’ve seen both sides combined spend over $30,000.00 before. Hourly rates for lawyers run from just under $600.00 per hour to upwards of $400.00 per hour or more. Every call, visit, letter, fax, email… anything that happens in an hourly fee case can cause the bill to go up. This constant drain of money is maddening to clients. Not many have spare cash to just throw away, and in a hotly contested case it seems like the lawyers always has a hand in your pocket. It’s because of this the old joke about, “It was so cold today, I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets” is funny. If you have an hourly based case, the best thing to do is to know how you are being billed, to track the communications you get and verify if the time charged is accurate, and to limit your contact with the lawyer to essential and brief communications.

Another reason lawyers make people crazy is because they don’t tell you what you want to hear. Everyone believes they are right. If you were to talk to a person who ran a red light and caused an accident, even they would have some excuse as to why it wasn’t really their fault something happened. Most legal actions aren’t black and white. There is a lot of grey in the law, especially civil law. As a result, clients who often think they have a “slam dunk” case are frustrated when their lawyer points out potential problems in the case. Things most people take for granted as proof of facts are not admissible in court for that purpose, so they get frustrated when the lawyer doesn’t agree. For example, just because you always wear your seatbelt, and your family always sees you wearing your seatbelt, doesn’t make it true that you had the seatbelt on when you were the only person in the car and an accident happened. You saying it does not prove it, and your family saying they always see you wearing it doesn’t mean you had it on then. It is proof of your habit, but not proof it was on at that moment. These rules of evidence and procedure frustrate clients. This different set of rules seems arbitrary and unfair, because it isn’t what you are used to. The lawyer takes the blame for your frustration, because the lawyer is the only real person you can focus your frustration on.

Another reason lawyers drive you crazy is because if you have a lawyer, odds are the other side has a lawyer. I once heard an example of what it is like stress wise being a lawyer. Doctors have a lot of stress, but some studies say lawyers have more stressful jobs than doctors. A doctor in surgery has a life in his or her hands. The doctor has a support staff of nurses and technology at his side to assist in the surgery. By comparison, a lawyer is usually standing alone in a court room. He is trying to save his case. However, right across the room from the lawyer is another, likely equally qualified lawyer, fighting to kill that case. Imagine if a surgeon was trying to save a life while another surgeon was standing right across the table trying to kill the patient! The problem for clients is that even if they like their lawyer, the lawyer on the other side is like a demon. The other lawyer is making work for your lawyer, raising your bill. The other lawyer is fighting to disprove everything you seek to prove, and the other lawyer is fighting to keep from you anything you want out of the case. So naturally, that other lawyer drives you crazy.

Lawyers essentially get the worst parts of every type of practice. They cannot promise their customers things that might not come true like a hygiene product might. Lawyers cannot give guarantees or warranties like a manufacturer. Lawyers cannot coddle their clients like a customer service desk. Lawyers cannot “rush” a job like a tradesman. Lawyers should provide quality customer service, but their hands are tied in those areas. Clients are accustomed to the services these business provide, and when they don’t get it they are frustrated.

With all that said, I’m pleased that most of my clients have all been happy with the services I provided. The best thing a lawyer can do is to keep expenses at a minimum, give good advice, be timely, answer questions in an honest and informative way, and do the best you can for the client. If a lawyer does this right, the client will be happy in the end, because the client understood the process and how things got to the end.

Twenty years ago I went to buy a suit at a nationally advertised suit "warehouse". I wanted a black, double-breasted suit. They obviously didn't have one in my size. But, that was what I wanted. The salesperson, rather than help to find a place I could look, or offer to order one, tried to force a blue single breasted on me. When I said I wasn't interested he insulted me by saying, "When you grow up you will realize you have to own a blue suit." I turned and walked out without saying a word. I never, ever went back. I still refuse to go back.

Okay, maybe that is unreasonable of me. I don't hold many grudges. However, I refuse to do business there ever again. It is a matter of principle. Considering that in my personal life I am a very friendly and forgiving person, this decision is very uncharacteristic of me. It did drive home a very important lesson though. Customer service is key to business survival. That off-handed remark by the clerk drove me away from that business for a lifetime. I have warned others not to do business with them as well. For a huge national chain selling goods in high demand it may not be as important as it is for a solo practitioner offering very specialized services. For my practice, such a situation is unacceptable. I treat my clients with respect. I treat them the way I expect to be treated. If I treat them well, they will refer others to me. It has worked. A substantial part of my practice comes from referrals.

I won't name the suit shop publicly, but if you are curious, drop me a line. I'd be glad to rant about them... even if it was twenty years ago.